tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77220506830566164512024-02-19T08:20:32.935+00:00:: Quero um planeta só para mim ::..Terra chama Marte...Terra chama Marte...Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.comBlogger185125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-28876433909058382592018-03-14T13:18:00.001+00:002018-03-14T13:18:07.516+00:00" It wouldn't be much of an universe...<i>... if it wouldn't be home to the ones we love."</i><br />
<br />
No, it wouldn't Mr Hawkins. No, it wouldn't.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSgUmO339S8rxnu7OzbWWQ6h-9G8_o__PEgQlk7aTQp86WN6jfueV-KkqBXKByya4ZORxB8Lo2rc7Pa75NEXznYBSz6BsBRq-RZzbO192fUYOtpp01UGn2cwI1yPac40nqO8u6duVkZ5o/s1600/p02n58pc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="279" data-original-width="496" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSgUmO339S8rxnu7OzbWWQ6h-9G8_o__PEgQlk7aTQp86WN6jfueV-KkqBXKByya4ZORxB8Lo2rc7Pa75NEXznYBSz6BsBRq-RZzbO192fUYOtpp01UGn2cwI1yPac40nqO8u6duVkZ5o/s400/p02n58pc.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-87507145790387562012018-01-29T14:17:00.001+00:002018-01-29T14:17:45.480+00:00Song for today #5<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/BBNbixgg1-c" width="480"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.747px;">First time I heard it I thought this record was 30 years old. Turns out it was a 2016 soul shake. </span></span><br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">From the muddy, hopeful blues of "My Way Home" to the electrifying "The Strangest Thing" Reed combined Soul, Gospel and Blues in s</span><span style="font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.747px;">uch a beautiful, refreshing </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">revival the whole album will lift your spirit. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">It did to me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "droidsansregular" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.747px;"><br /></span></span></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-55760624919127210492017-12-08T15:03:00.001+00:002017-12-08T15:03:06.246+00:00Dear Productivity (...)(...) I'm sorry. Today's brain space has been hijacked by random memories of all the stupid things I've said or done in the past 15 years.<br />
<br />
Thank you.Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-23288441087624337262017-10-10T16:00:00.000+01:002017-10-10T16:00:14.652+01:00Typos or just-another-escuse-for-me-to-be-silly.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1UK83vdKoq_jgZpZkQ7Cat_JfGoGAd2ttlvgCq8-Yh34x-u6L5FVqz1DZxPXwW5yuaVsP5BsENKqfGDcV9ds-vnxUf6l2jZhNG-qGF59ZpbbBD6Z4DJCYEtVF6HIldwkeEjJOvcYjRI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-08-23+at+15.11.52.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="293" data-original-width="896" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1UK83vdKoq_jgZpZkQ7Cat_JfGoGAd2ttlvgCq8-Yh34x-u6L5FVqz1DZxPXwW5yuaVsP5BsENKqfGDcV9ds-vnxUf6l2jZhNG-qGF59ZpbbBD6Z4DJCYEtVF6HIldwkeEjJOvcYjRI/s400/Screen+Shot+2017-08-23+at+15.11.52.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-55829265421657713132017-09-08T14:30:00.000+01:002017-12-08T15:04:02.585+00:00I showed up, I looked, I made it awkward. A few days ago I had to fill some forms for professional matters and I came across a question about social skills.<br />
<br />
After briefly thinking about it, I realise my social skills include:<br />
<br />
- Telling inappropriate jokes in awkward situations;<br />
- Laughing when I shouldn't laugh;<br />
- Enthusiastically saying hello when introverts walk into the same elevator and terrifying them with lively small talk for at least 3 floors;<br />
- Naively pointing the elephant in the room when everybody is avoiding it;<br />
- Asking the waitress if the chocolate mousse is homemade only to turn it down when they proudly confirm it;<br />
- Saying "you too" when the stewardess tells me to enjoy my flight.<br />
- Asking the 14 year old kid who is trying to mug me if he is old enough to be drinking.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yeah. I don't foresee a very bright future ahead of me.<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-72234161405304592562017-09-04T12:00:00.000+01:002017-09-04T12:00:11.733+01:00Very disappointing Mr. Cai Lun. Very disappointing. I just used two fingers to scroll on paper. It didn't work. Stupid paper.Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-23905239210277154182017-05-04T14:59:00.000+01:002017-05-04T14:59:11.924+01:00Song for today #4<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"(...) but it wasn't because I didn't know enough,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I just knew too much."</i></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fzxag7U3Snk" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-79104894313128732382017-03-14T12:33:00.001+00:002017-03-14T12:33:15.836+00:00The Tate conjucture<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can't promise the moon, on every dark sky of your nights,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">or that your song will always be playing in your favourite bar.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can't promise to be there, every time you go to bed hurt,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">because not all hours are mine,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but you know,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">with no certainty I assure you,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">that with you, every day is an opportunity to be happy.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For being there even when you're not,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but most of all for always being,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">wishing me well,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">like I wish you,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the sun, the madness, the will.</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In this uncertain path that we walk, hand in hand</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It matters no more where to,</span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">we will go. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.24px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<style type="text/css"> p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 14.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} </style>
</div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">to my sister, with love. ♥ </span></i></span></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-6284734644110366672017-02-23T14:46:00.001+00:002017-02-23T14:46:46.823+00:00My friends say I'm worrying about the wrong thingA few days ago I've read on the news that some guy would kill people, by shooting them, asphyxiating them and then slitting their throats.<br />
<br />
I'm like, dude, <i>pick one thing</i>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-17135282097291976052017-01-18T14:06:00.002+00:002017-01-18T14:06:38.344+00:00Hidden Figures<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes. We've seen this recipe before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And yes, this movie might be an audience pleaser.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq_5KDHYEQ8" target="_blank"> Hidden Figures</a> tells the extraordinary story of three remarkable women at NASA, who carved a pioneering path not only to their gender but to African-Americans in an era of racial segregation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Beautiful, uplifting and heartwarming, this movie is an assertion of humanity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A must-see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD9XtO5E2Wn4r5nLxJ4gqLMB2MmG7XsAjh11yvamuF2IWgidqMJ_vjDi-6x8qlXFcb6l_pjs2oGy3YZA2H2a24vvzlKvsYZ7Q9rY8AhIwmHWf05oQdrloOs8NtAplXEuQ0VuLNNBeXbOE/s1600/hf-gallery-02-gallery-image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD9XtO5E2Wn4r5nLxJ4gqLMB2MmG7XsAjh11yvamuF2IWgidqMJ_vjDi-6x8qlXFcb6l_pjs2oGy3YZA2H2a24vvzlKvsYZ7Q9rY8AhIwmHWf05oQdrloOs8NtAplXEuQ0VuLNNBeXbOE/s400/hf-gallery-02-gallery-image.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-30870570412223293932017-01-11T11:53:00.002+00:002017-01-11T11:53:55.504+00:00Over attachment sindrome for a widespread nationRemember that feeling when you were a kid and you'd sit on your parent's foot and wrap your arms around their legs so they had to try to walk with you sitting on it? That's every 2 brain cell American right now with Obama.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwiMm3fJbOXXDWDMyih0KALleufitRd0X7XkNQqi-0vGkpcMkMMAbXaxOjCfSIrXxtirz8glhyZeWatYmFqU6l4AGFjMWl3V_8iJHTc6uvQMvLKIUCV_NZXa668xCn9NjaDIs6xYoXAOw/s1600/trump_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwiMm3fJbOXXDWDMyih0KALleufitRd0X7XkNQqi-0vGkpcMkMMAbXaxOjCfSIrXxtirz8glhyZeWatYmFqU6l4AGFjMWl3V_8iJHTc6uvQMvLKIUCV_NZXa668xCn9NjaDIs6xYoXAOw/s400/trump_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_2099085692"></span><span id="goog_2099085693"></span><br /></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-50930271062396216992017-01-06T14:24:00.000+00:002017-01-06T14:24:40.135+00:00The musical equivalent of binge watching<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/177629961" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://vimeo.com/177629961">Hamilton Leithauser & Rostam - '1000 Times'</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/onethousand">One Thousand Percent</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
<br />
(the whole album is actually really good. Definitely worth your while.)<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-54274828679419022442016-12-12T16:42:00.000+00:002016-12-12T16:42:17.483+00:00Risk management lessons for unhealthy eatingThat moment when you're too busy doing things late at night and you realize you haven't eaten.<br />
Then you think: "I'll just grab something from whatever is open".<br />
<br />
That's what I call a <i>wurst</i> case scenario. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsle9kwAjr2xKmFdFCGM4w89CArgGm_PGv69mT5oTQ0cvZy1HsGTiX8o4d2EmYh1Drl10dWedWbDpyYR_RDnYfIedh7uBNIeXgszMoaEkV9rw-R72HEH4xV9dkLMdQCcN8CYwwKN50jE/s640/blogger-image-1461562364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsle9kwAjr2xKmFdFCGM4w89CArgGm_PGv69mT5oTQ0cvZy1HsGTiX8o4d2EmYh1Drl10dWedWbDpyYR_RDnYfIedh7uBNIeXgszMoaEkV9rw-R72HEH4xV9dkLMdQCcN8CYwwKN50jE/s400/blogger-image-1461562364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-79417312674967646032016-12-05T10:41:00.000+00:002016-12-12T16:22:33.701+00:00Some have earphone stupidity, some have beautifully crafted trailersSony announced yesterday The Last of Us Part II, the sequel to Naughty Dog’s 2013 shooter that got 10/10 on most gaming press reviews.<br />
Joel and Ellie are back, and from the look of it, this time Ellie will be the starring role.<br />
The creative idea behind the reveal trailer is incredibly powerful.<br />
If you've played the first title, you'll quickly understand the blunt humanity behind this sequel: The Last of Us was a story of love. Part II is a story of hate.<br />
<br />
(and if you don't know, Ellie is singing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtHubsyGD8w" target="_blank">Through the Valley by Shawn James</a>)<span style="background-color: white; color: #333435; font-family: , sans-serif; font-size: 20px;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/W2Wnvvj33Wo" width="480"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(my hype levels just went through the roof)</span>Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-54375343499704565622016-08-08T21:31:00.001+01:002018-09-24T09:26:29.078+01:007 steps for a glorious Monday<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. 7am. You walk out naked to your balcony to grab the underwear you left outside to dry because the sun finally came out this summer;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. You raise your head and notice to all your horror that your Japanese neighbour is seating in the balcony in front of you.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. Although he clearly saw you, you urge to hide back inside and in the process drop a couple of your undies out of your balcony and into everyone's backyard.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. Half an hour later you walk down to the backyard to grab your bike and your undies and your 60-year-old landlord is standing there. He raises his hand holding your red lace underwear and asks you if those are yours.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. You turn the same colour of the undies and because your immaturity is an AK-47 shooting in all directions you say no and leave immediately.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">6. You come back home after work to find your underwear collection hanging on the staircase wall. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">7. You wish yourself a happy Monday.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji02-wus9dygcho2UvDNxMPkFGSYnmMnScjsc2e7o53W-dMW89LT7Be0erultoQm7U-Vqxe08jGVsLf80zdL0GoeR0LhlNtwglrMoFQsV0__DRVkTH2C4uWSnrdInEHbVpw6nyDEcYAPM/s1600/1444726480-1444726462-cd3636d0623f92d03c3d7014a6f3ba45635447281938365677.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji02-wus9dygcho2UvDNxMPkFGSYnmMnScjsc2e7o53W-dMW89LT7Be0erultoQm7U-Vqxe08jGVsLf80zdL0GoeR0LhlNtwglrMoFQsV0__DRVkTH2C4uWSnrdInEHbVpw6nyDEcYAPM/s400/1444726480-1444726462-cd3636d0623f92d03c3d7014a6f3ba45635447281938365677.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-13994188686286072042016-07-18T14:59:00.001+01:002016-07-19T13:13:02.394+01:00The Unbearable Silliness of Being (on Facebook)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5sI7URK7fwqfYHHue77qscQqX9PNmaA6aJDlrLZapgFHwc9Q4btXpHVoJH49spcW4-H57PQhby4zZA6qvqw8qI1fDWihbpOJ6yWU_-2m8F3VuYJdnQ_YJMh0GiS0mImRu3snACw9yZ68/s1600/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5sI7URK7fwqfYHHue77qscQqX9PNmaA6aJDlrLZapgFHwc9Q4btXpHVoJH49spcW4-H57PQhby4zZA6qvqw8qI1fDWihbpOJ6yWU_-2m8F3VuYJdnQ_YJMh0GiS0mImRu3snACw9yZ68/s320/giphy.gif" width="265" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Freedom of speech is a beautiful thing, just like the advent of the internet. But let's be honest, put the two together and Internet just became an infinite well of silliness. Every time I get an invitation to play Candy Crush, I have an Ally McBeal fantasy where the internet police visits these people, hits them a couple times with a telephone list and confiscates their router. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Unfortunately, this is not possible (buhhhhh) so Mark Zuckerberg invented the Unfollow button, coming to the rescue of every soul tormented by the social stupidity of posting. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And because freedom of speech goes both ways, if you are one of the following people, I hope your Hamster chews your internet cable. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. <b>The "Copy paste this on your wall..." people</b>. Do you seriously think facebook is gonna close? Do you actually believe that if you post a legal notice not allowing facebook to do whatever you say they are up to this time, that is legally binding? Then guess what. You are legally stupid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. <b>The "Couples with a joint profile" people.</b> Awww... That's sweet. I love that you renounce to any individuality you might had in the name of love. Thumbs up for that. Now I only have to click "unfollow" once. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. <b>The "Passive-Aggressive incognito messages" people.</b> I love these ones. They publicly post cryptic messages, generally directed at one specific person, in a vague, mysterious way, for the whole world to read. "I'm over it" or "These boots are made for walking". One note for you: I hope you put those boots on and walk away from your internet browser. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. <b>The "Stupid Questions" people</b>. People who post shit like "What is the weather tomorrow?" or "What time does X place close?" The time it took you to post this is the same it takes to google it. Seriously. You have fingers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. <b>People who answer the "Stupid Questions" people. </b> Man. You're dumb. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">6. <b>People who invite you to play Candy Crush. </b> This specific type of people is characterized by absolute amnesia. I denied that request. Every time. For the past 6 years. I hope you meet Candy Crush's biggest geek, and that he tries to align your eyes with your nose. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You are all on my blacklist. I hope you are hit with an infinite storm of 'enlarge your penis' Spam. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you, that was all.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-41049790821146960862016-06-13T15:56:00.003+01:002016-06-13T15:56:58.407+01:00According to the internet...<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...there are more than 300 ways of saying "drunk".<br />And only one way to get rid of it.<br />Hello, hangover.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9221vxlAXfc4znDppBzduOoG1dyvvx-R87JEwanwcvbsgZs5FHUlZP3koSuskbcse8_ml7lpXwzloOPcgO0tItIStilIA-IDkBH4BRHJgqwNahjrXNoSWvGdM6a5ZC9k5bgbehqBq10/s1600/77454890-badd-4738-98c6-d03db3aafae9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9221vxlAXfc4znDppBzduOoG1dyvvx-R87JEwanwcvbsgZs5FHUlZP3koSuskbcse8_ml7lpXwzloOPcgO0tItIStilIA-IDkBH4BRHJgqwNahjrXNoSWvGdM6a5ZC9k5bgbehqBq10/s400/77454890-badd-4738-98c6-d03db3aafae9.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-72665121577799783782016-06-03T14:34:00.000+01:002016-08-08T21:46:38.021+01:00The Biased Manual to Forget a Guy<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A few weeks ago, my friend A. was struggling with a broken heart. My friend N. couldn't understand why some guy stopped writing her. It's true. We've all been there. Forgetting someone is <strike>hard</strike>. It's fucked up. Let's say it clearly. It sucks balls trying to forget someone who danced <i>Vprisyadku </i>on top of your honest heart. And it seems that everyone has an opinion concerning people who screwed up our lives: from the most conservative, proper ones, to the dubious bipolar shit it's wrong even to think of.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So, because I'm always willing to provide valuable public service, here's a compilation of some advice I've heard about, with a pinch of Vio. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Of course to make this exercise easier, we'll pretend that it's always the other part's fault. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Let's go.</span><br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1.<b> "Eat chocolates until you explode"</b>. Alright, ladies. I can totally see why the cocoa solution seems desirable. Crying with a box of chocolates is definitely better than crying with a stick of celery but remember - you're single now. You might not wanna put 20 kilos on. So go ahead and grab those Kinder bars but restrain yourself to like... 5. We're not trying to get diabetes here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. <b>"Hit it off with his best buddy." </b>Really? Why? I say, hit it off with his worst buddy. Someone he genuinely hates. That's much better if you're into this kind of thing. Or his brother. Or his dad. Now that would be priceless.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. <b>"Drink…I said drink." </b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Yeah, it seems immature, but getting wasted generally does the job. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why do you think Shakespeare and Dostoyevski were such big drunks? Because they were chronically on the Superbowl of heartbreak. I'm not saying you should write a Pulitzer. I'm saying, keep your levels of alcohol intoxication high. Make sure you don't kill yourself, though. You're trying to forget a person, not trying to forget you have a liver.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. <b>"Make a list of everything he sucked at." </b>Now, in this department, everything goes. Everything. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Had terrible feet smell? Small penis? </span>Snored<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> to loud? </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Couldn't change a light bulb?</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">His mother still washed his clothes? His favorite drink is a Cosmopolitan? Talked too much about his ex? Write it down and go back to it every time needed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. <b>"Delete, delete, delete."</b> I introduce you to the block button. It'll be your best friend from now on. Literally obliterate any sign of his passage on your life. Pictures, phone number, messages. Depending on how bad it ended escalate to different social profiles. Start with Facebook and then go to Whatsapp, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, Linkedin. If you want to go wild block him on Google +. Nobody cares about Google +. That should get the point across. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />6.<b> "Revenge." </b>Alright. this is really not my style. But if you really must, be creative. Call his bank and cancel all his credit cards. Put a pin on his doorbell after 2 o'clock in the morning. Call his work (be smart, pick the biggest gossip person there) and leave a message that his boyfriend called. Hire a skank to go to his favorite bar and make a scandal about having to provide for your 6 children.</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">7. <b>"Avoid Happy couples."</b> Let's be honest, who wants to be around two lovebirds who just cannot get enough of each other's faces when your heart just got run over by the disappointment truck? To be avoided at all costs - couples that are so happy that makes you wanna secretly murder them. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">8. "<b>Spend half of your salary on clothes."</b> Ok, note. This will empty your pockets but fill your ego. So I think this is ok. Were you married? If so, go ahead and do even better. Litigate and then spend half of HIS salary on clothes.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">9. <b>"Listen to sad songs." </b>Now that is a shit advice. If you're sad, why would you wanna be miserable? Get your shit right. Here's a list of musical no-go's: - <i>Creep by </i>Radiohead, <i>Time After Time</i> by Cindy Lauper, <i>Yesterday</i> by The Beatles, <i>Wrecking Ball</i> by Miley Cyrus, <i>Wicked Games</i> by Chris Izaak, <i>How can you Mend a Broken Heart</i> by Al Green, <i>Unbreak my Heart</i> by Toni Braxton or anything by Adele. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">10.<b> "Let time pass." </b>Now, this is the kind of advice that will make you wanna shoot yourself in the head. "Time. How much time? I want this gone NOW." But in the end, time does its job, and this is probably the wisest advice of all. Try to see the bigger picture. Somewhere in that picture might be a Jackie Coke and a hot italian guy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(dear readers: this is obviously a joke. You should never sleep with your ex's dad. Unless it's Sean Connery. Then definitely do.)</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-71042291219133511242016-05-30T17:48:00.000+01:002016-05-30T17:48:51.263+01:00You know you need to get some sleep...... when leaving your parent's house you point your car keys to the door and expect it to open.<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-59002771780399476962016-05-18T09:24:00.001+01:002016-05-18T13:06:10.440+01:00Dude, really.<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Dear God,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm dazzled with all your prodigal Marketeer sons who managed to convince the world that everything tastes better with random dehydrated fruits.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But now, in all seriousness, could you please help me have a bag of Muesli without having to pick out the raisins?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Amen.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDYxczMAoZS79hKbx_VgVxCtTPsvB9xsj3xdexwYNGWIBE0LIfYDz6P-E_z7D4qBrlity72TZESSCJB92vLd-cABJbmHXUuwGvObqTsYFe5hoLnmV8ObbRwfPT2vqx949gBRyjR5TxVM/s1600/IMG_20160518_103405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDYxczMAoZS79hKbx_VgVxCtTPsvB9xsj3xdexwYNGWIBE0LIfYDz6P-E_z7D4qBrlity72TZESSCJB92vLd-cABJbmHXUuwGvObqTsYFe5hoLnmV8ObbRwfPT2vqx949gBRyjR5TxVM/s400/IMG_20160518_103405.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-45855888474533542272016-05-16T13:04:00.000+01:002016-12-18T22:30:17.347+00:00Song for today #1If your dark side was a song.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SYOQ4w9EXzI" width="459"></iframe>Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-66935546163112445112016-05-10T21:18:00.001+01:002016-05-10T21:33:30.738+01:00Adele's '25' or Heartbreak-to-go<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ECCbDbl1MFRyIPmPvs2XqJ2C7LIkqOfC9fgvUjeEbu-kw9f_G3964gyVfYwWHYqnuuMP1LfCOL1Io1hhgJgBd7n0lp14rspSKOhkxWe1OhCmZHnwmX_dD5EnR6m-6BLyw9rSjrIYRb4/s1600/720x405-adele-press-new-2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ECCbDbl1MFRyIPmPvs2XqJ2C7LIkqOfC9fgvUjeEbu-kw9f_G3964gyVfYwWHYqnuuMP1LfCOL1Io1hhgJgBd7n0lp14rspSKOhkxWe1OhCmZHnwmX_dD5EnR6m-6BLyw9rSjrIYRb4/s400/720x405-adele-press-new-2015.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In 10 days I'll be at Adele's concert in Lisbon. Since years, I wanted to see her live and now I was lucky enough to get golden circle tickets. I know her previous albums quite well but hadn't yet heard '25'. So today, I happily decided to listen to it to learn the songs. <br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The experience was more or less the equivalent of a sad clown killing cute puppies on a rainy day. <br /><br />And now if you'll excuse me, I'll just go lay under my bed clothes with a Kleenex and a handful of Prozac.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-26023692375295449582016-05-04T18:50:00.000+01:002016-05-04T18:53:41.659+01:00I guess a simple 'No' would have been enough<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A friend of a friend asked me to do the logo for his family business. After I've sent him an estimate with a (very) friendly price, he calls me back and says:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /><b>Him: </b>My wife thinks you're too expensive, and that we could find someone cheaper. But I would really like to work with you. Can we renegotiate the price? <br /><br /><b>Me: </b>How much does your wife cost you a year? I'm sure I could find you a cheaper one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; text-align: center;">(awkward silence)</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My sarcastic mind is so unnecessary it pains me I'll have to live with it forever. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-25098056634634971562016-05-01T19:14:00.002+01:002016-05-04T08:11:18.908+01:00Wait, what, Superman?<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Last week I got a pinkeye. <br />So instead of the usual contacts, I had to wear glasses to work. <br />I get in the elevator. A peer I know quite well walks in, looks at me and proceeds to adopt typical elevator awkwardness behavior (pretending to be focused somewhere else in that one square meter of metal).<br /><br /><b>Me: </b>Good morning to you too! <br /><b>Undisclosed clueless peer:</b> Oh! Hi! Sorry, I didn't recognize you!</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">.....Waaaaa?</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOljwnV17-V5gA5rfSEy-Q4u3eF6FVo-IuPqMavM-pL5R6BPGuQYmm_X_ksjWj6ZWwL89v7BBkDnfDiRJoZZI2Pgzzhe6VNKn15SIGpU4sbnjc6mEKHbysMvy_yRRh8t5VWLSHSzDgxS8/s1600/NENnxcUbyz9zQV_3_b.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOljwnV17-V5gA5rfSEy-Q4u3eF6FVo-IuPqMavM-pL5R6BPGuQYmm_X_ksjWj6ZWwL89v7BBkDnfDiRJoZZI2Pgzzhe6VNKn15SIGpU4sbnjc6mEKHbysMvy_yRRh8t5VWLSHSzDgxS8/s400/NENnxcUbyz9zQV_3_b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7722050683056616451.post-86044617372278351032016-04-27T16:59:00.002+01:002016-04-29T20:43:47.406+01:00Useless metaphors <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG0-sROwSmEaS3wZs9434whU_-_90UEBRy1ru-R907Jt9DU8gYX1Fj0IOukqDcrIYZtsFtFcEPGcUrXlerOUzVBj-sCXJYuZXsWwXY_LsK_72q79Y2iDB0eQwIdcFeVRDzsiM0NSvVr_8/s1600/boyfriend_jeans_casual.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG0-sROwSmEaS3wZs9434whU_-_90UEBRy1ru-R907Jt9DU8gYX1Fj0IOukqDcrIYZtsFtFcEPGcUrXlerOUzVBj-sCXJYuZXsWwXY_LsK_72q79Y2iDB0eQwIdcFeVRDzsiM0NSvVr_8/s320/boyfriend_jeans_casual.jpg" width="204" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">People who say <i>"some days it looks like the shoes you're wearing are not even yours"</i> bug me a little. I've never felt like the shoes I'm wearing are not mine. Have you? No. And if you do, then I would say there is a high chance that you are drunk and you've just put on your room mate's shoes. And then maybe you shouldn't be walking around. Just saying.<br /><br />Me, myself, I need to hang on to metaphors I can understand.<br /><br />Like <i>"those days when I feel there's no Caramel on my Machiatto". </i><br /><br />Now that's something I can relate to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>Viohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06864336296082386087noreply@blogger.com0