And so it goes.
At 8:40 in the morning I was touching down in Frankfurt, 18 hours after leaving Cambodia.
I walked out of the plane to a grey, rainy Frankfurt. All of a sudden there were 30 degrees less than what I was used to the past 2 months. Orderly traffic. Clean streets. No loud music. No motorbikes riding in all directions. The ATM is spitting out euros instead of dollars. Nobody is waving or smiling at me. I felt the world spinning for a second before I got a hold of myself.

Three days later, I'm still freezing everywhere, even at home.  I'm drowned in my warmest hoodie. The flowers on my balcony were decimated by a winter I didn't see.

The hardest thing now is first encounters. Everyone is asking me: "How was it?? Tell me everything". And all I can do is smile and mumble something like: "...great". I feel numb and I truly don't know how to explain what I saw, what I experienced. The cold that hit me in the face when I returned is nothing compared to the shock of not being able to communicate. Maybe next week, next month, next year, I will be able to talk about it.

So many times, while I was away, I've found myself thinking what was I doing there, if my help was any worth, if I would change anything or if it would only change me. I think now I can, at least, answer the latter. The privilege of distance is clairvoyance.

Cambodia is a magical country, that grows roots under your feet the day you step on it. Eleven thousand miles away, I still have Cambodia under my skin.

And if there's one thing it taught me, is to be grateful. To smile more often, to laugh a lot, to keep hoping. Life will put on your way a million rocks. Collect them, build a castle. Forgive. Forgive yourself too, if you must. Learn to talk about yourself. Learn to talk to others. Remember words are the most powerful legacy - use them wisely. Be kind. Be mature enough to hear a no. Be strong enough to say no yourself.  Let go. Invite a friend for wine. Jump in a pool at night.

Keep no sorrows.

Life is too short to be small.


(ps- the show will go on from Frankfurt; the pictures are  from my last week in Cambodia. Stay tuned.)

Someone once said that a journey is best measured in friends rather than miles. I couldn't have said it better. I would like to say thank you to Cynthia, Louis, Margaret, Olivia, Isabelle and Megan for sharing the good and the bad along this 9 weeks.
But most of all, for sharing also the life after work. Truth is, you're still an expat in a 3rd world country, and after you finish you work you come home, take a shower and it washes away all the misery, at least until the next morning. And I know it sounds a bit cynical but it's reality and reality is a bitch.

So, for all of this, thank you for the laughs, the tears, the silliness, the drinks and for putting up with my weird fixation for jumping in the pool after hours.

I will see you in Boston, Luxembourg, London, Lausanne and Brisbane.

Krom apa pipea!

Weddings in Cambodia are one of the most important celebrations of Khmer culture. They can last up to 3 days, depending on how wealthy the family is and the new weds will have at least 8 different outfits throwout the event.
For Cambodians having 'Barang'* in their weddings is an honour because it's generally a sign of social status: it's like hanging out with the cool kids back at home. So volunteers at New Hope get invited all the time to join weddings of people we don't really know. I must confess I was a bit hesitant at first, but it actually turned out to be incredibly fun. A Khmer wedding is all about 2 things: food and music. You'll be eating the whole time, dancing even more and because you're white you are an attraction on your own. Everybody will want to come cheer, dance with you, teach you the traditional way of dancing and chat.
If you're joining one, get ready for a lot of alcohol, food, intense heat, dance moves, very loud khmer traditional music, family members singing drunk (yes, just like at home) and lot's of fun.
Many thanks to Kanha and Thearith for the invitation! ♥

*'Barang' was used historically to refer to the french colonialists; nowadays its refers to white people, westerners. 

... clean?
Not really. We are now heading towards April, the hottest month of the year in Cambodia. During this month of March, thermometers are already hitting 38 degrees celsius (100.4 Fahrenheit) and humidity levels raised some days up to 94%. That's a lot of work for your sweat glands. Add this to the dust of the roads, the garbage in the slums, the hugs and hi5's to the kids and we have a bacteria festival.
You'll be taking 3 very thorugh baths a day, washing your hands an endless number of times and still, gooeye is going to be your main state.
I remember when I first got here, I saw a volunteer scrubbing hand sanitiser allover his hands and arms and I thought: 'Jesus, are you sanitising your hands or prepping for surgery?'
Little did I know, he was right. Almost 2 months later, I myself, have the feeling my hands will disintegrate and fall for overuse of hand sanitiser.

If you look, see. 

Phnon Phen - Killing Fields & Genocide Museum / Sunrise at Angkor Wat Temple / Pub Street Seam Reap

(click picture to enlarge)